What is Polyamory?
If you’re here, you probably have an idea about polyamory, but let’s start from the beginning so everyone is up to speed. The simple answer is, well, not so simple! Polyamory means different things to different people – however we like the way relationship expert and author Susan Winter describes it:
The fundamental philosophy of polyamory is that sexual love shouldn’t be confined to the strictures of monogamy but expressed freely and fully. Another tenant of polyamory is that both individuals know of their partner’s lovers.
Whilst there are over 7.5 billion people in the world, when it comes to expressing love, we are all different. We enjoy different things, are aroused by different things and experience love in different ways too. A polyamorous lifestyle allows multiple, mutually consenting people to be in a relationship.
Is Polyamory for you?
You’re the only person who can decide if a polyamorous relationship is for you. All relationships should be mutually consensual, loving, pleasurable and honest – none more so that when you’re involved with multiple partners.
In simple terms, a polyamorous relationship shuns the traditional monogamy rules of one partner at a time and encourages you to enjoy multiple relationships. Aside from the sexual side of polyamory, there are many of benefits of the lifestyle including:
- Choosing to let your relationships develop and flow rather than be constrained by traditional rules of marriage, kids, monogamy for life.
- Enjoying deep and meaningful connections and relationships with more people, without commitment.
- Being a whole person, rather than being defined by a more traditional relationship status ‘my other half’.
How to make a polyamorous relationship work
When it comes to love and especially polyamory, rules are difficult, and some would say – they are there to be broken. We’re not here to judge, just offer some helpful hints to enjoy the lifestyle:
- Boundaries: yes even with polyamory, it’s still a good idea to have boundaries which everyone agrees to. From how many partners you choose to have to how much time you spend with each person, or even what you do and don’t do – talk it through and make sure everyone is comfortable with your arrangements
- Honesty & communication: there is no rule that if you are in a polyamorous relationship now, or have been in the past, that you always have to be. Like any healthy relationship, honesty & communication are key – and that includes being honest with yourself. If it’s working for you, great. If it stops working for you, be honest, communicate with your partners and find your solution, even if that means taking a step back.
- Sex: being in a polyamorous relationship doesn’t necessarily mean you’re having sex with every person. If everyone wants to – then of course, enjoy. You may also just want to enjoy the emotional intimacy of simply spending time with someone you love, there’s no pressure. (see Boundaries!)
- Commitment: despite the traditional perhaps cynical view on polyamory meaning that it’s for people who can’t commit. Actually, being in a relationship with multiple people is likely to demand more of your time and commitment, as you learn how to live and love with polyamory.
- Jealously: there’s no doubt that jealousy is an emotion most of us have experienced at one time or another. Being in a relationship with multiple people may well bring out your inner green-eyed monster. Don’t worry, you’re human – it doesn’t mean polyamory isn’t for you. Communicate with your partners and find a way to resolve your concerns.
Ready to play?
Whether it’s polyamory, MMF, FFM, Cuckolding or group sex, if you’re ready to play, set up your free profile now and join us for some play time. Sign up now
And, as always , play safe.